


Alec Softwood

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Multi, Poor Alec, alec gets #exposed, anyways this is rlly fluffy, everyone just loves bullying alec, they all have drinks at hunters moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 07:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11846589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Everyone looked expectantly at Alec, who still had his head tucked in his folded arms.“Wow,” Maia said, “we’ve broken him.”“Rest in peace Alec Whippedwood. He lived a short, pathetic life spent drooling over Magnus Bane,” Simon said somberly.in which clary harrasses jace, simon, magnus, maia, alec and isabelle into being social and it turns into an exposing alec seminar.





	Alec Softwood

**Author's Note:**

> its really late idk why i wrote this i was bored ok,,, anyways enjoy ig sorry about this. rip alec 2k17

After the war, everyone was so busy; whether it be tracking down the leftover demons, fixing the rift between Shadowhunters and Downworlders, saving Simon or being Simon, all of Clary’s friends were buried waist-deep in their responsibilities. Clary understood how important they all were, but really, didn’t they deserve some time for themselves? She’d made it her personal mission to get Jace, Simon, Maia, Magnus, Isabelle and Alec in the Hunter’s Moon and she’d finally succeeded after weeks of trying. Jace, Simon, Maia, and Isabelle had been easy enough to convince; Magnus and Alec had been the tough ones. As the Head of the Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn they were by far the most important people in the group, but Clary, being Clary, made it work.

That was how Clary found herself at a table at Hunter’s Moon with Jace, Magnus and Alec, waiting for Simon and the girls to arrive. Jace currently had his head in his hands as the rest of them laughed at Clary revealing his fear of ducks.

“I’m not scared of them! They just- I-“ Jace stuttered, his voice muffled his hands.

“You once tried to actually jump onto my back when you saw a duck in Central Park,” Alec pointed out, making Clary burst out into fits of giggles again.

Jace gasped, his head darting up from his hands. “You promised you’d never tell anyone about that!”

Alec shrugged his shoulders with a smug grin.

Jace slammed his hands down on the wooden table. “That’s it. Time for some instant karma, _brother._ Alec’s entire closet is filled with-“

Before Jace could finish his sentence, Alec threw his phone aggressively at Jace, landing square in Jace’s neck.

“Jace, I fucking swear to-“ Alec started, but Jace cut him off.

“Oh, no. Don’t even try. You deserve this, parabatai,” Jace scowled.

“What? What is it?” Magnus demanded, suddenly very intrigued.

“C’mon, spill the beans,” Clary urged him on.

Alec tried to stand up but Magnus pulled him back down. Alec didn’t even try to resist. Whipped, that boy was.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood has a closet full of stuff related to you! He even has your _clothes_!” Jace exclaimed loudly before Alec could stop him, just as the rest of the group walked in the door. Before anyone had time to process what he’d said, Alec had pulled Jace up from his seat by his collar and was about to beat him into next week when Maia roughly grabbed his shoulder and shoved him to the floor. Jace stumbled backward as Alec groaned in pain.

“No fighting in the bar! Do you _want_ me to get fired?” Maia exclaimed, crossing her arms, the rest of the party appearing behind her.

Alec scrambled to his feet, scowling. “But he-“

“I don’t care if he murdered your entire family! I will not lose my job because you imbeciles want to start knocking heads in my bar!” Maia scolded him.

Izzy clapped Alec on the shoulder supportively, suppressing a grin. “Give it up, Alec.”

“Maia Roberts is seriously not someone you don't wanna fight,” Simon warned him.

Alec crossed his arms and scowled but resumed his seat next to Magnus, taking a newfound interest in the floor.

“You’re adorable, Alexander,” Magnus whispered in his boyfriend’s ear as the rest of them sat down, Izzy kissing her girlfriend, Clary, hello before going to sit next to Alec. Jace sat across from his parabatai with Clary and Simon, leaving Magnus, Alec, Maia and Isabelle on the other side of the large oak table.

“I’m the head of the New York Institute. I’m a stone-cold warrior, I don’t have emotions,” Alec growled.

“But you do have an entire closet of Magnus Bane propaganda if I heard correctly,” Simon grinned, earning a fist-bump from Izzy.

“Remind me why you didn’t just _stay dead_?” Alec scowled, throwing a look that could kill towards Simon.

“Well, then we’d have one less person to humiliate Alec at all costs, and that’d just be tragic,” Clary grinned.

“For the love of God,” Alec muttered, exasperated.

“Alec Lightwood? More like Alec Softwood,” Simon added with a smug grin on his face. Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at Alec putting his head down on the table as Simon and Maia high-fived. Clary called over a waiter, deciding they were going to need some alcohol for this, and they ordered drinks.

“Alec Stalkerwood,” Jace murmured suddenly, causing Simon to burst out laughing next to him. Jace wasn’t even that funny, Simon just laughed and smiled a lot around Jace. It was cute, if not slightly pathetic.

“Guys, we should have weekly humiliate-Alec-at-all-costs meetings,” Clary suggested.

Alec made a muffled noise of protest. Magnus rubbed his back supportively, not even trying to hide the massive grin on his face anymore.

“Oh, my god, yes. Magnus, Jace and I are captains,” Izzy stated.

“No, thank you,” Magnus stated dramatically.

“What? Why not? Oh, come on Magnus, you must have more dirt on him than all of us _combined_ ,” Izzy whined.

“I refuse to risk not getting any just to see Alec blush,” Magnus stated, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Wise man,” Izzy agreed.

Everyone looked expectantly at Alec, who still had his head tucked in his folded arms.

“Wow,” Maia said, “we’ve broken him.”

“Rest in peace Alec Whippedwood. He lived a short, pathetic life spent drooling over Magnus Bane,” Simon said somberly.

“Lay off, Sherwin,” Magnus said.

“You’ve known me for over a year, stop pretending you don’t know my name!” Simon exclaimed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sean,” Jace piped in.

Simon put a hand over his heart. “I give you amazing sex and _this_ is what I get in return?”

“See? That is _exactly_ what I mean,” Magnus said, gesturing to Simon and Jace.

Clary frowned at Alec. His head was still on the table, buried in runed arms. “I think we broke his will to live.”

“Possibly,” Magnus agreed, running a hand up and down Alec’s back soothingly.

“If he starts crying, I’m kicking you all out,” Maia warned them.

“Nah, I think he’s just dead inside,” Jace smirked.

“Same, except literally,” Simon grinned.

“You’re such a dork,” Jace teased. Simon stuck out his tongue at him.

“Yeah, you’re a total nerd, Simon,” Maia agreed.

“What did you just say?” Jace growled, hand on his seraph blade. Maia just grinned knowingly. Simon, who saw a disaster coming, laid his hand on Jace’s, slowly pulling it away from the weapon

“You should take a good long look at yourself before you accuse Alexander of being whipped,” Magnus suggested.

“Shut up,” Jace muttered, crossing his arms.

“Once when Jace was drunk Simon bumped into a tree and Jace stabbed the tree with a seraph blade repeatedly yelling that Simon was taken,” Maia giggled.

“Why is everyone betraying me today?!” Jace exclaimed.

“It’s trendy,” Izzy stated.

“Almost as trendy as exposing Alec,” Maia added.

“Ooo, remember when Alec was flirting with Magnus, drunk, and he cried when Magnus said he had a boyfriend?” Clary said, adding to the pile of Alec exposés.

That was the last straw for Alec, who stood up with a blank expression and headed towards the door, Magnus following close behind, sliding an arm around his boyfriend. Alec leaned into him and put his head on Magnus’ shoulder.

“If he goes mute, it’s your fault, Jace!” Magnus warned him as the couple walked out of the bar.

“Why do people always assume it’s my fault?” Jace whined.

“Because it usually is, babe,” Simon said sympathetically.


End file.
